Just one of those days

Today has been one of those days that I have been extremely sad over the m/c. I have been thinking about what I would be doing, what I would be thinking and little things like that. I am still spotting since the m/c so I have been obsessing over the fact that I won't get a period for a long while and thinking that It may not happen in September just for that fact. I have been using OPK's because I have heard if you O' then your period should be about 2 weeks from then. The line today is getting darker, but now I'm sitting here thinking that If I know I'm O'ing then what's going to stop me from wanting to try right now, But then I remember we can't try right now cause we are not even having sex (not that we don't want to but because Oscar's little member has a cut and we are trying to let it heal) So between thinking about when and if my period will show I have to worry about is Oscar member going to be healed in time for the big show? It's gotten me so down thinking about it possibly not happening. We will only be ttc for a few months, and if It doesn't happen I will most likely feel down up till we ttc again